I’ve been putting off writing this post because every time I sit down, I realize how cranky I am and worry that maybe I’m not in the best head-space to voice fair opinions. Then today I realized I’m always cranky these days so waiting until a different day isn’t going to make much difference.
If you’ve been following along since August, you know that our house flooded. Since Thanksgiving we’ve been living in a FEMA trailer. The trailer is admittedly too small for our family of six. We were put in a two bedroom and have been assured that a three bedroom trailer is “on rush order” for us. That was over a month ago. I don’t think I’m a snob, maybe I am, but living in a too-small trailer wears on your spirit.
In the last week Ryan, myself and Evangeline have all sighed and said “I wish our house hadn’t flooded. Then we wouldn’t have to live in a trailer.” We go through the list of things to be grateful about : Our family is safe, we are all together, we have a place all to ourselves. But still the daily frustrations of living in a trailer win out over our better angels.
Know how when you have small kids your house is never clean, how with a larger family you’re always in someone’s way, how it’s always loud and someone’s always fussing at someone else? Cut your living space in half, take out all sound barriers but still keep all your kids. That approximates trailer living.
The furniture is second-hand, low-quality and easily destroyed. This of course means, all of our furniture is destroyed. The floor is always grimy and starting to separate from the sub-floor. The mattresses are all spring and no mat. The whole lot is sunken in and does not drain. Every excursion from the front door involves mud. The kids have little room to play inside and limited freedom outside — even when we let them play in the mud. Three of them are sharing one bed. Everything is too small, we can’t all fit and we all just want to go home.
More than once, driving to the house to get the mail, I cried turning into the neighborhood. I wish wish wish I was driving home and not stopping by. I wish we had our house back with all of our things. I wish we could decorate and make our space our own again. Damn, I just wish we had enough chairs for everyone to sit at the dinner table.